THE CLANNING OF THE CLONING
An Essay by Izzy Sommers
When reading the Holy Bible for the first time, from the beginning, most folks think of a story told by the elder of their tribe. This would certainly be in keeping with the Jewish tradition of making weekly readings from the Mosaic Pentateuch, the first 5 books of Moses. Appropriately, the Jews call themselves a tribe, as in the old joke, “Jesus is one of my guys… He was and is a member of my tribe!”
Within a few moments of reading in Genesis, the very first book of the Old Testament, God creates Adam, which means Man and takes one of his ribs to create Eve, which means Woman, or as Adam puts it, “I named her Eve which means of a Man.” In those days, God sometimes relegated his naming of people, things and others to his creations, mainly Men. It is hard for me to get away from the picture created by the actual words, say in a King James Bible. God bades Adam to lie down and puts him in a deep sleep. Then he removes one of Adam’s ribs and shapes it into a Woman, as a companion and a compliment to the Man, Adam. Then he causes Adam and Eve to awaken, eyes closed and naked, naïve and adaptable, teachable and compliant. Adam is given the opportunity to name Eve, as he has named the animals and plants of the newly created Earth.
Lets face it folks. Eve was cloned from Adam. It’s that simple! Any modern person would recognize the technique of cloning immediately. Moreover, anyone would recognize the significance of creating a woman as a compliment to a man. There would have to be appropriate physical characteristics, somewhat like creating a lock for a key, or a cellular membrane reactor site to a specific hormone.
Does that make God a genetic engineer? Of course, it does! God is omnipotent. He knows everything, past, present and future. What confuses me is that he seems to be stuck on the male of the species. There are verses, nay chapters, of begetting and begatting. It’s hard to find a female amongst the hordes that are then created. It’s almost as if the males begat the males and that the females were rare mistakes, or even bystanders. Perhaps this is close to the truth. Yes, one could say that the men in the human line were the inheritors of the land and the lore, the language and the mores, the children and the deeds to the farms. So, a biblical genealogical record with almost all men, could be quite legitimate.
In Genesis, Chapter 6, a concession is made to the pulchritude of women, by God himself. Paraphrasing, it says, “He looked down upon His creation, [mankind,] and found that the women were fair.” I assume fair means beautiful, as in the faerie tales that say something like, “The fair maiden Jennifer.” Certainly, the wicked queen of Snow White fame asks the mirror, “Who is the fairest in the land?” indicating that fair means beautiful and not pale or blond or even-handed.
So, what happened to what was a unified, pure race of humans, to make it so diverse? What happened to the men of Sarah’s and Isaac’s tribe, the Jews? Why are there at least 3 Jewish tribes now, the Orthodox, the Conservatives and the Reform? There are also the Militant and Pacifist Jews, the Zionist and the Home-Body Jews. Do they ever play each other in inter-league, or intra-league, Debates or Zingers? And, what of Hagar’s and Ishmael’s tribe? Now there are Shiites and Kurds and Sunnis and Orthodox and Moderates and Moderns, American, British, Indian and Australian Moslems, Lebanese, Egyptian, Syrian, Iraqi, Irani and Turkish Moslems.
And then, we come to the followers of Jesus, a direct descendent of David. Jesus was an Aramaic Jew. He had a circumcision, a Briss, a Bar-Mitzvah, a Jewish mother, a Jewish Father, and he prayed in Hebrew in a Synagogue, every Sabbath. The 12 apostles/disciples, including Judas, the inside 12 like any corporation boardroom, share the loves and disappointments of Jesus, triumphant, yet doomed to die on the CROSS/CRUCIFIX.
Or, was it the TEE that was modified to accommodate the INRI sign? Or, was it the CHI turned 45 degrees? In Greek, the word for Christ is Christos, spelt, CHI,
cristos [in small letters,] and
CRISTOS [in capital letters.]
The “X” becomes a cross over the years. Certainly, in the usual series, the Twelve Stations of the Cross, Jesus is seen with a cross rather than a tee. The symbolic idea that it is a Chi cannot be forgotten. Despite many objections from folks over the years, Xmas has persisted and is, of course, a throwback to the Greek.
Incidentally, Xerxes, the King of
Shah or King George of
King George of
George Sands plus George Petain of
George Washington, George Bush, both George H. and George W., plus, Gorgeous George, of
Two thousand years later, there’s still one Jesus of
One man, Jesus, changed the covenant of the Jews with God to create a whole new meaning to the Cloning of Eve. He could have been the catalyst to reverse the Clanning of the Cloning. Freud, Cleopatra, Einstein, Edison, Bell, Gates, Gandhi, Osama bin Ladin, Mohammed, JFK, Gorbachov, and many others could have been peaceful leaders in the re-unification of mankind. Hitler, Stalin, Alexander the Great, Attila the Hun, The Tsars of Russia, The Hapsburgs of Austria, The Chinese Hordes, Christopher Columbus, The Roman Caesars, The Spanish and Portuguese Catholic Inquisitors and the hypervigilent landlords of the world, could have done wonders. But, they didn’t and they won’t. Only one person can do it and He is Me.
I am the Keeper of the Genes, the Creator of the Personalities of Mankind, and possibly the entire animal and plant kingdom. I am every one of You in a real sense, the kind of sense that the Tao teaches. When I breathe, You breath. When I feel, You feel. When I reach out for company, comfort, Cheese Whiz and stimulation, You are there. When I have the urge to reproduce, actually and spiritually, I go to You. There is no one else, save Me and Thee. We, and We alone, all of Us, could make the Clanning of the Cloning go away. We could reverse the discrepancies, subtle and obvious, of the Great Religions of the world. We could sing the common songs, like, When You Walk Through a Storm, You Will Never Walk Alone, and You Need a Friend, and Bringing in the Sheaves, and I’m Just a Girl Who Can’t Say No, and Nature Boy.
When I am hungry and thirsty, I go to You. When I’ve lost everything, I go to You. When I’ve won everything, I go to You. When I bicycle from
I can reverse the Clanning of the Cloning. I can produce the harmony and inner peace that We all really need. We can do it together. We can extract from Adam, and hence, Eve, that nefarious factor that makes us suspicious of each other. We all have it. We are all responsible for its persistence. Ordinarily, it was useful for success, sometimes essential. Lately, its been the bug that affects us all and makes us stand apart, rather than shoulder to shoulder, back to back and belly to belly.
“Suffer the little children to come unto me.” Jesus was quoted as saying. “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.” He said. “Turn the other cheek,” He admonished us. “The Meek shall inherit the Earth.” He predicted. Surely, Jesus saw the truth. Surely, he wanted to hold the interest of the children so that he could teach their uncluttered minds. Surely, he saw that retaliation was destructive and only led to bloodshed and that more bloodshed begat more bloodshed. The response to 911 could have saved a million lives. Attacking
In the micro cosmos of the family, the same applies. Anger and retaliation begets more anger and retaliation. Stepping back and asking the offending child or adult, “What is it that you fear?” would often nip the entire destructive chain of events in the bud. The war would be over before it started.
In the real world, the destruction of the WTC Twin towers was dramatic evidence that
IT WAS ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL THAT PRESIDENT BUSH, VICE-PRESIDENT CHENEY AMD THE
It was absolutely essential that someone, anyone, needed to step forward and recapitulate, surrender, if you will. Surrender would have prevented the attack of
Clanning of the Cloning is a wish come true for the warmongers of the world. It is not in their interest to have
Shall We continue to go THE WAY OF ALL FLESH or shall We reverse the death and destruction in our personal and professional lives. Do We have a choice? I say, “Yes, We have a choice. We have a choice at every turn to think well of our kith and kin or to think ill of them. We have a choice to think well of our enemies instead of thinking surprise attack at dawn, or thereabouts. We have a choice to put our time and energy into something worthwhile like the diagnosis and treatment of illness and the relief of suffering. Instead of waging war on other nations of women and children, we could spend our trillions on education and the environment for the benefit of our own women and children. After Bush went into
Walt Kelly’s Pogo the Possum said it best when he and his friend Albert the Alligator got lost in a swamp. He said, “We has met the enemy and it is us.”
Alone in the Garden of Eden save for God’s coming to make visits and take walks in the lovely surroundings, Eve, the Clone of Adam, naked, as is Adam, blind, as is Adam, uninformed and naïve, as is Adam, unaware of the nature of life and love and innocent as a child and the driven wind, Eve, meets a snake who says, “God is keeping you from really having fun. He said that you shouldn’t partake of the pleasures for which you were cloned.”
Them’s fightin words!
“Yeah!” says Eve, the Clone. “I can sense that Adam and I are meant for something other than gazing into the dark and going for long silent, blind walks with God, whoever He is. You, snake, you feel good to me. I wonder if any part of Adam feels like this. Let me nuzzle you. Ooh… that feels delicious when you nuzzle me and touch me all over. It feels good when I touch me all over. Aah… What? You want me to eat this fruit that was forbidden. Mm… OK! Wow! It tastes great! Adam, hurry over here and taste this fruit. It’s great. And, Adam, I can see and hear and observe life, as it really is. Hmm, I wonder what I look like. Adam, eat up! Tell me what I really look like. Do I give you pleasure. Aah… yes, I do. Ooh… yes you do.”
Folks, here comes the punch line. I need to warn the faint of heart that this is serious. Will all those under 12 leave the room. Will those between 13 and 21 have a secure, perfect parent present. God divided and conquered. Once the Adam and Eve fit was discovered, there was no holding them back. “Mmm, Adam… Do that again. I haven’t had enough Adam… Please, just do it one more time. Lick me right here and I’ll pull your chain again… OK? OK, great! Come closer my darling, I think there’s another way to do this that might give even more pleasure. And, wow, Adam. Did you see those great trees and flowers? Did you see those exotic birds doing their dance and then making out. Wow, Adam! You get so big and strong. Each time you get bigger and stronger. Aah… Ooh… Adam, I’ll give you two shakes of a lamb’s tail, if you do that very thing one time again… OK, I’ll give you four shakes if you do it twice more…Now! Adam, Now! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Ooooooooooooooooh…Adam, have you been doing this with Lillith? Show me something else you and Lillith have been doing? Lillith! Lucifer! Come over here. Join us! Oooooh… Lucifer and Lillith! Aaaaaaaaaaaah… Lillith and Lucifer, the loves of my life. Please teach Adam how to do that.”
OK, folks. Have you had enough? Do I need to draw you a picture? God sees what He hath wrought and what Lucifer and Lillith have ruined. He does what he has to do to keep them away from each other. He has no control over Lucifer and Lillith. To this day, he has no control over Lillith and Lucifer, His own Kind. His creations, however, are under His control. He is omnipotent. He is omnipresent. He is omni benevolent. He sees the writing on the wall. He cannot change Adam and Eve physically and prevent them from pleasuring each other. After all, He’s the one that cloned Eve to be the compliment to Adam. He’s the one that made it impossible for them to keep each others hands off the other. And, he’s the one that created the Garden and the Flowers and the Fauna, and the Shrubs and the Trees, especially the Tree of Knowledge which was meant to provoke curiosity and serendipity.
So, God made them Ashamed and Distrustful of each other. Adam quickly responded by saying, “She made me do it!” Eve, Adam’s Clone quickly covered herself up, instinctively, and then pointed the Blame at Lucifer and Lillith. God was pleased. His actions had had the proper effect. He had injected each of Adam’s and Eve’s cells with just enough paranoia to start the Clanning. Within the first generation, the Clanning had begun. Cain killed Abel and the wars had begun. The bloodshed established the precedent. Anger and killing would be a “normal” human condition. Land and women would be fought over. Ideas would be causes for conflicts.
God saw what he had wrought and that was the beginning and end of the 8th day. He was pleased and slept well that night knowing that The Clanning of the Cloning had begun. “Begin the Beguine,” God hummed to himself. “They may have found the pleasure I would have denied them, but I nipped it right in the bud. They’ll have a heavy price to pay!” God was happy for the remainder of his creative day.
As you know, God became restless as the Garden of Eden had to be shut down and his humans had to be sent elsewhere. The begatting had begun in earnest. There were children everywhere, mainly boys, but also some young, lovely, fair girls. They were all acting evilly. So He decided to send some of his heavenly boys down to assemble with some of the fairest of the human women. Giants were the results of the commingling. These were giants in stature and in knowledge. God gave them each 120 days to solve their problems. However, he saw that that didn’t work either. Not even the psychoanalysts could engender that kind of spirit of self actuation that would resolve the anger and allow the smart ones to turn the other cheek and for the meek ones to take over and for the little ones to come unto God to seek the Truth. Distrust and Paranoia became the rule rather than the exception. The Clanning of the Cloning seemed doomed to continue forever.
God was about to destroy humanity because he was disgusted with the developments and the prevalence of anger, evil, war and pestilence, and all the other sins and pleasures of the flesh, such as gluttony, sloth and lust, pride and envy.
As you know, God found favour in Noah and his family and some of the other creatures he had created. Otherwise, this story would have never been written. No story would ever have been written because God would have packed up his equipment and gone elsewhere. The Clanning of the Cloning goes on apace.
I can no longer tell this story without smiling. It is so obvious. Self-actualization. with or without the help of an analyst or analysts would stop wars and interpersonal conflicts, instantly. The inner peace and love would be so pleasantly overwhelming that the very thought of even an inkling of distrust would never occur. Families would be functional. People would be functional Entire worlds and countries and continents would be content to gather food, harvest fruit, make wine, make bread, prepare feasts, play games, enjoy the arts and music, and live in the moment for life, siestas, love and children, and all.
THE CLONING OF THE CLANNING WOULD CEASE! Amen. Hallelujah! Mashed potatoes and tzibullia.
THE END
©Izzy Sommers
Income Taxes
Aargh/Scheisse
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